Day 5
Redemptive Love Even in Affliction
...I have LOVED you with an everlasting LOVE;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
Jeremiah 31:3
“The LOVE of God is greater far than tongue or pen can ever tell. It goes beyond the highest star and reaches to the lowest hell.”
-The Love of God by Meir Ben Nehoral
The summer of 2019 was one of our very best vacations. Our “highest star.” Our extended family of thirty met for our biannual reunion in Red River, New Mexico. We hiked, rode bikes, played games, and mostly visited. After several returned from their hike up Wheeler Peak, I thought our daughter, J’Lynn, must surely be the fittest: hiking, eating healthy, and watching her weight. She was so healthy.
In September, J’Lynn felt a swollen gland and asked her local dentist to take a look. He wasn’t concerned so she went on about her life, traveling for a book company and overseeing the shelving of school library books.
The swelling in her neck and tonsils enlarged, so her doctor suggested she have her tonsils removed. Early in December, her doctor ordered a biopsy. Afterward, we received the diagnosis of the dreaded C word. Our “lowest hell.” J’Lynn entered Bedford Hospital where she began chemo treatments. Our Christmas that year was spent with her at the hospital. My baby was a sick woman!! The dread of what this meant was overwhelming. I cried, “God, J’Lynn has never caused us any problems and has lived her life serving you. She was on a team serving her pastor, ministering to the lonely, the left out, the young, the old. She was my spiritual role model, my friend, my shopping buddy, my prayer warrior. Please, God, don’t take her.”
She finished that round of chemo and was able to go home on her birthday, January 13, 2020. Unfortunately, she didn’t get to stay home for long for soon she would begin to feel so sick again. This time the doctors suggested that she check into T Boone Pickens Hospital in Dallas as they might do more for her. While there, she acted upon James 5: 14. “If anyone among you is sick? Then call for the elders of the church, and they are to pray over him anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord; and the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick.” Nineteen members, including the pastor of Rock Pointe Church in Flower Mound, came and anointed her with oil and prayed. “God, please hear our prayers.”
From bad to worse, COVID hit right when she needed more intervention at MD Anderson, Houston. Her husband, Ardy, traveled with her and checked her into the hospital there. He was told, “NO VISITORS.” He called to tell us the troubling news. I hit the floor begging God to allow Ardy to stay with her. She could not be there in a strange hospital, so sick, all alone. An answer to prayer, an angel in HR allowed him to stay; however, he could not even leave her room due to all of the COVID regulations. We could not go visit her, another “lowest hell.” While J’Lynn awaited blood transfusions, she turned on worship music to praise God in her storm. The nurses, custodians, and hospital staff all witnessed her faith through those dark, painful weeks. She saw those moments as an opportunity to share the LOVE of God. She received the best treatment available including the CAR T-cell therapy cell exchange.
J’Lynn was in MD Anderson, Houston from March 23 to July 24, the day the doctors sent her home on hospice. We finally got to see her! “Highest star!” She passed away about two hours after we left her house on the 28th. “Oh, God, how can I go on? If I have to walk this road, Lord, please show me how to do it in a way that brings You honor and glory. I do trust you.”
I think the hardest part of losing someone, isn't having to say goodbye, but rather learning to live without them. Always trying to fill the void and emptiness that's left inside your heart when they go.
I was now part of a club I never wanted to join. The club of parents who have lost a child. Over the years, I have invited members of this club over to my house to tell me their story. I don't believe that God is the cause of pain, but I firmly believe that He doesn’t waste a second of it. He can use the mess we are given to turn it into a song of praise. I have felt God’s LOVE in these painful times and know that the ministry I now have is healing me and spreading His LOVE.
A mother’s LOVE is very strong. I would have done anything to save J’Lynn or traded places. God has shown me that His LOVE is even stronger. It is a LOVE that is with me in the “lowest hell” as well as “my highest star.”
FURTHER REFLECTION:
Will you let His LOVE in? Beyond your “highest star” and to the “lowest hell,” it will change you. Forever.
How will you let your “highest star” or “lowest hell” be used in your ministry?
Are you letting God’s LOVE shine through you in ALL circumstances?
PRAYER:
Lord Jesus, I pray that I will accept Your unfailing love in all of my circumstances and situations. Whether I am on the mountaintop or down in the valley, remind me that You are near. You are with me and You care for me. You see me and You know me. I will not quit. I will not give up. I will continue to put my trust in You. You alone are worthy of my praise. Amen
FOR FURTHER STUDY:
Ephesians 3:14-21, Isaiah 53:3, Romans 8:18-28
by Janis Alling